In the wild world i would seduce you with words

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Life is short. Skip school.
The title is misleading because I've never skipped a day of school my entire life, and despise those who are regulars at it. But it just caught the gist of my article.

So, my moms incredibly pissed because she believes that my future is going to hell. She's too amazing to say it, but I know that's what she thinks. That's what everyone thinks. I don't blame them, but I didn't believe them for the longest time. I think I do now. The moment you realize that your personality and mere love for learning can't get you through school is the moment when you kind of give up on everything. I love to learn, but just about things that I'm interested in. History, English, Law etc... But It really doesn't matter the teeniest bit. Because the world has this measured way of calculating your worth. The college you go to, the GPA you have, the number of AP courses you can handle. its all bullshit. I give my all to something that I love, Every little bit of me. And inversely, I shut down when someone tries to give me information I know has nothing to do with the future I have planned for myself (Algebra, Chemistry, Biology. Little bitches) I refuse to apply myself, or even attempt something that I have no interest in. Life is too short to subject yourself to things like that, I believed. But most people, saw the bigger picture. They saw their future, and knew this was important to suffer through to earn good grades. I envy these people. Because they make their families so proud. I wonder if they're proud of themselves? I want to be a person, I can love. A person who gives hope, who does more in life than sit around in a cubicle trying to make enough money to buy a new car. Thats not me. I'd like to pretend I'm materialistic, But I'm not. I want to grow up to make a difference in peoples' lives, make someone smile, tell them they're loved and wanted. Because to me, the 'bigger picture' is not about getting a comfortable, and settled life on a good pension when I retire. It's never been about me. Never. And, thats something not a lot of people can comprehend or follow. Shove that down your '4.0 average' throat.

Truth is, I can be happy without a college degree, but people/society won't let me live that down EVER. So I will go to college, earn my degree like an obedient kid, and spend the rest of life doing everything exactly the way that this world wants me to.

My nightmare.

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What is it that you want to do?

I want to volunteer for the peace corps, and be a writer. Joining the Peace corps have been a long standing wish of mine.

Cool! My best friend is in the Peace Corp in Guatemala right now.

I thought about it as well, but I couldn't make such a long commitment to stay in one place. I bounce around a lot. Though once I have my masters I think I will go to Asia and teach English somewhere (South Korea maybe?) for a year.

I know being so far from family is going to drive me nuts. But its one of those things that you can look back on your whole life and be proud of. But SK seems like a lot of fun. I have a friend in college whose from there, and hes like "everything is legal there. You can do whatever" hahaha. Have fun though.

I had to fight so many demons when it came to school. I realized, I love learning but I hate the structure of school. (rules, grades, the fact that it's basically just memorization etc. etc.) In the end, I said 'fuck it' and decided I would only do something I loved. Started thinking about what I wanted, liked and what was best for me. That's how I started Film school.

I don't want to be boxed in, I never have wanted to and the thought of it makes me itch. Sometimes you gotta jump and just do it.

think of it this way - college is about a lot more than just grades & a degree. the life experiences available and social interaction really do prepare you for the "real world". there are opportunities available to you in college that you will rarely have a chance to experience again once you start working. live it up, soak up as much info as you can and try to experience as much as possible. it'll be over before you know!!!

already given up?
I do well remember I was in a similar situation. My good memory helped me though school although I didn't care much. I studied what I wanted (after submissively following my parents advice first) and am pretty happy with what I'm doing now. But I've learned that it's better to lead your own life. The sooner the better.
So if you know what you want my advice would be: do it!

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